Entry 1: I shouldnít be doing this. I donít want to think about the kind of trouble that would result is anyone found this journal. But I need somewhere that I just speak freely.
The boss made a mistake, and itís my job to make it work. 8 years ago, they could have just added the bitchís name to the list of people we were looking for and none of this would have happened. No, she isnít good enough for Peter. No, she is not the kind of person we want in the world we are trying to build. But Peter would have been happy knowing she was being looked for, we would have lost none of the resources his quest cost, and we would have had his full attention on his work. Worst case, if we did find her, we can always use someone to scrub the bathrooms and other menial work.
Because getting the work of the City done is more important than whether or not Peterís girlfriend is good enough for him. Or at least is should be.
But it wasnít my decision to make. Just my job to make it work.
I hate this world.
Entry 2: Itís done. Peter finally crossed a line. Dr. Scrantonbach will take care of the little bitch for us, and Peter will get back to work. I had to agree to let his outside team off the hook, but itís enough. Maybe now I can get back to being a scientist and not a babysitter/spy.
Entry 3: Damn you Peter! You selfish prick. You think youíre the only one who's lost people? The only one who's made sacrifices? Get over yourself, get over her, and get with the program. Gotta breath. Gotta breath. Itís not his fault heís in a shitty situation. And how do I expect him to react when the woman who probably got his girlfriend killed starts coming onto him. But canít he see that weíre all just as trapped as he is? Canít he see that all heís doing is making things worse?
Entry 4: I canít do this anymore. I am, hands down, the worst person in the City to mediate with Peter. On every other subject the boss knows what heís doing. Heís gotten us through 8 years without any major problems. But Peter. Everything about Peter heís making worse. I like Peter. If he wasnít being such an idiot, I could fall in love with him. But does the boss really think that forcing all of Peterís interactions to go through a hand-picked bride will do anything other than backfire? I need to talk with him. Need to make him see that having me in this position is just making things worse. I need out of this job.
Entry 5: He didnít listen. And if I canít bring Peter around heíll...I canít even write it here. But Peter is up to something. I know it. That man will never give up.
Becky, Becky. You donít get it. I know you donít understand. You see me as the evil queen ruining the happily ever after. Youíre the only thing I have left. Iíve done everything I can to protect you, to keep you safe. I know you donít like the way things are done here. I donít like them either sometimes. But it works! It keeps us alive and healthy in a world gone mad.
Stay away from Peter, please Becky. Donít get infected with his idealistic-insanity. This isnít the old world where we had more resources than we knew what to do with, and everyone could be an individual and do their own thing, and it worked. It doesnít work anymore. We need to stay together to survive, and the more Peter pulls away, the more dangerous he becomes.
Donít you pull away too. Donít get destroyed with him.